Going to CostCo two days before Christmas is a life-changing experience
OK, so my title kind of gave it away, but I went to CostCo today.
Now that the “wind-outta-the-sails” moment is over, let me tell you what I learned, or observed, or whatever. Clearly I just have the need to type gibberish or really really am searching for an excuse to NOT PACK for Christmas.
Anyhoodle, just finding a parking space is a superhuman feat. In the first place, people who shop at CostCo are all required to drive cars that seat at least 18 people or eight industrial-sized buckets of Ranch dressing, but the parking spaces are made for people who have reasonable-sized cars, which makes parking difficult. Secondly, we all seemed to have missed the memo about the Naughty and Nice thing. Honking is most definitely naughty, people. Isn’t this the season for rosy-cheeked carolers and holiday cheer? Come now.
Also, despite everybody being very hot, bothered and hurried whilst parking, we all forget about that once in the flourescent-lit wonderland. I have a confession. I rather enjoy holiday bustle, but I am also paralyzed by crowds and often mesmerized and rendered completely useless by A) lights B) sales C) little kids in holiday wear D) free food – all of which CostCo carries in abundance. So I wandered helplessly for some time before remembering to get what I came for already and go home to pack. Glad that worked out so well for me, as I now have a puke of the brain blog in the works and no packing yet accomplished. Ah well.
But, despite the dark magic effect of CostCo in its holiday glory, I am a speedy checker-outer. I’m always standing in line, thinking, just GO, oh GOSH please don’t rearrange your purse, ah… DON’T WRITE A CHECK IT’S 2009, HELLO. And then I get to the front. BAM! Membership card. BAM! Pleasantries with checker. BAM! Paid. Done. Receipt in pocket. Out. I kinda want to give a wave to everybody behind me and say “you’re welcome” or offer to give tips on how to stuff receipts in safe places, whip out credit cards and juggle purchases with speed and aplomb.
I have more things to say about CostCo two days before Christmas, but I really am starting to feel bad about the whole “leaving tomorrow for Christmas but not yet packed” thing. I’ll just say this, if you’re planning a trip to CostCo today, blessings upon you, and may the 65-cent Coke be especially satisfying.