Wrangler Dani

When my friend Megan told me she was pregnant, I let out a “squeeeeeee!” to shame all “squeeeeees”. We were standing in her parents’ kitchen and I guess Adam looked surprised at my outburst, because Megan’s dad saw this as a teachable moment. He leaned over and said confidentially to my new, surprised husband, “that noise only happens when someone’s engaged or pregnant. Watch and learn.”

Megan was the first of my close friends to have kids, and since then I’ve let out a lot of “squeeees”. Marriages. Babies. Job promotions. Vacations. Long-hoped-for dreams realized. Surprises.

However, I’ve realized that I’m not as good at “squeeee-ing” for myself. I’m the kind of person who wins a vacation and worries about taking time off, or who gets an “A” only to start promptly studying for the next test to come. I’m a chronic perfectionist, a worrier and a planner. This can be good: I was never caught off guard by a test or assignment – and also bad: I waste my time in anticipation of things to come instead of glorying in my successes or embracing today.

I have a lot to “squeeeee” about today. (No, I’m not pregnant.) I have a fulfilling job and a bustling business which continues to grow despite my best efforts to worry it to death. I am growing as a writer and embracing my craft as art. I’m in love with my fella and happy in our friends, our church, our little beachside life.

Today, I’m not “squeeeee-ing” because anyone I love is engaged or pregnant. (Although if you are, you better ‘fess up so I can.) Today I’m learning to “squeeee” for myself – for the smaller but still life-changing victories that I’m living in right now. I’m “squeee-ing” because Adam and I are going to Seattle this weekend for a little getaway – on the five-year anniversary of the flirtatious backpacking trip that started it all. I’m “squee-ing” because I am still remembering encouragement from the recent conference and while I have tons of work yet to come, I’m living in the joy of some exciting, well-earned goals.

Today, I’m “squeee-ing” for myself. It feels good, even though I might get a funny look or two.