Wrangler Dani

Writer, editor, wife, adoptive mama and cowgirl living in beautiful Central Oregon.

Can men and women be friends?

I’ve always believed so – I’ve had (and still have) some fantastic male friends in addition to my irreplaceable girls.  But it can only go so far when everybody is single, as a few cocktails (or a sappy movie or sad song, depending on your resistance level) into the night cause everybody to think about the possibilities of being “more” than friends. (Or maybe just trying a kiss, let’s be honest.)

But after you get married, the friendship is real and honest and comfortable in a whole new way.  Adam was out with the guys last night, and Amy and I hit up the Barnes and Noble Starbucks for caffiene and high-gloss girly magazines and chatter. I got home before he did, (girl-talk does not take as long as a hockey game, apparently) and decided to wait up with the TV, some Cheez-its and a beer to keep me company.

He came in the door, and easily kissed me and settled in beside with his own brewski, reaching into the Cheez-it box and telling me all about his evening and asking about mine – both of us watching the Blue Whales swim around NatGeo and randomly exclaiming when we heard something fascinating, such as: “A baby whale is 25 feet long AT BIRTH?! In. Sane.”

We stayed up well past midnight just catching up with each other, and I felt like I was recklessly watching TV with my best friend on a school-night, enjoying ourselves and both deciding, without saying so, that we didn’t mind the extra few cups of coffee in the morning to make up for it – this meaningful and yet so ordinary time together.

Adam and I didn’t start as friends – we went from distantly flirting to really flirting to dating pretty quickly – but we’ve always had that friendship element. We like the same things and often had a casual, “hang-out” quality to our dating relationship.  Last night, Adam was asked by our pastor “how’s your friendship with Dani?”, to which he replied, “Gets better all the time.”

I have to agree. Men and women can be friends – but the best friend you’ll ever have is your spouse, and it gets better all the time.

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