Why you should support adoption
So, I’ve been asked recently why you should support adoption. “Isn’t that kind of like asking someone to support my kids going to college?” one well-meaning skeptic asked. They thought of adoption as a choice, like choosing to live in the suburbs or buy an SUV – a choice that a family is free to make, but not one that we should fundraise for or necessarily support as a community.
I’m sorry, but that perspective is simply incorrect. (I’m about to preach here – buckle up).
Are missionaries making a choice to live in a foreign country? Of course. No one is forcing them to fly thousands of miles from friends and family and live somewhere uncomfortable in an effort to reach others for Jesus. Does this element of “choice” mean they do not deserve our support?
Not everyone can be a missionary, just like not everyone can adopt. But that does not mean the need is not massive. Just as the world needs to encounter God, adoptive families need to step in for children and families in need of rescue and partnership. Willing, capable adoptive parents will help a child and his entire birth family have a better life, and this is no small thing.
Why is adoption so important? Well, to pro-lifers it’s essential. According to Texas Right to Life, abortion is one of the most common surgical procedures performed in the United States. At least 1.2 million abortions are reported each year. By the age of 20, 1 in 7 women has undergone at least one abortion. By the age of 45, 1 in 3 women has had at least one abortion. In 2013, as it has been for six consecutive years, more than four in ten births were to unmarried women. 20% of all pregnancies are unwanted, 51% are unintended.
Even if you aren’t moved by the pro-life argument, consider this: according to the Guttmacher Institute, children born to unmarried mothers are more likely to experience unstable living arrangements, live in poverty and have socio-emotional problems. As these children reach adolescence, they are more likely to have low educational attainment, engage in sex at a younger age and have a birth outside of marriage. As young adults, they are more likely to be neither in school nor employed and have more troubled marriages and more divorces than those born to married parents. Women who give birth outside of marriage tend to be more disadvantaged than their married counterparts, both before and after the birth. Unmarried mothers generally have lower incomes, lower education levels, and are more likely to be dependent on welfare assistance compared with married mothers.
So what do we do as a community when we see this kind of pain in our midst? Do we ignore the single mothers we know and let them struggle alone? Do we stigmatize adoption until it is unthinkable, fail to support it until it is unattainable?
Adoption may only be one piece to the puzzle, but it is essential. Birth families make a courageous, counter-cultural decision to choose life for their unborn child. Most birth families are already raising children and cannot take on the responsibility of another mouth to feed and protect. They love their child so much they are willing to make an adoption plan, even then culture tells them to simply suck the inconvenience down a sink or struggle along alone.
I have the utmost respect for birth mothers and fathers who choose life and adoption for their child, but that respect means nothing if we don’t have the resources to honor that choice. Adoption is expensive. Adoption is exhausting. Adoption is not only for wealthy late-bloomers or millionaire activists – every day, middle-class American families take on the responsibility and burden of the equivalent of a second home down payment in an effort to rescue a child. Families cash out their 401ks, downsize their lifestyles and borrow money from friends and family in order to follow the call of God to serve those in need, to welcome another member into their family.
We, the adoptive community, are begging for your help as we do this. Our backs are not strong enough for this burden alone. A baby appearing by stork is a cute story but it is not reality. The reality of adoption is long and hard and scary and expensive. Our family will forever be different because we were willing to step out in faith and welcome a child into our home and hearts. This is not a decision to take lightly.
Did you know that when you Google “supporting adoption” and other related searches, there is more information on adopting dogs and cats than people? What does this say about our priorities? Are we more heartbroken that a puppy is left in the pound, or that a child never gets to make mud pies, ride a bike, get As on a spelling quiz because we failed to support adoption, and his mother gave up the fight and checked into Planned Parenthood because of lack of support?
Adoptive families are not just throwing money at this. They are living up to a call which changes everything forever. With their child, they will never check out at the grocery store the same, they will never sign up for swim lessons the same, they will never go to the doctor in the same way. Their lives are forever changed by adoption, by their courageous choice to not only believe in the sanctity of life but to uphold it in their living rooms and kitchens.
Hear me on this – I know I am preaching here, I know you might be squirming, thinking I am demanding that you donate to us or adopt yourself. I am not asking for either. I do not think that everyone is called to adopt, and I know that not everyone can or should support adoption financially. But I DO KNOW that EVERY pro-life, Christian person should support adoption in some way. It might be simply an encouragement to an adoptive family you know. It might be an offer to babysit or help decorate a nursery. It might be helping fundraise. It might be simply to speak in an encouraging and hopeful way about adoption, giving us a joyful cheering section to lean on when the pessimism of the world gets too loud.
Friends, we are not heroes. We are not amazing people, we are not more in tune with God and we do not expect to be above-average parents. But we are faithful. We know deep down in our bones that we have been called to an unpopular road, and we are following that path with humility, just like the foreign missionaries, non-profit volunteers or others you support. It’s unconventional. It’s misunderstood. It’s often difficult.
It’s also redemptive. It’s a picture of the love of God to each of us. It’s humbling and faithful. It’s a life-changing pursuit of life and family. It’s adoption, and it deserves your support.
Statistic resources:
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-Unintended-Pregnancy-US.html#7
http://www.texasrighttolife.com/about/141/Abortion-statistics
http://www.ccainstitute.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=25&Itemid=43
3 comments found