Wrangler Dani

Writer, editor, wife, adoptive mama and cowgirl living in beautiful Central Oregon.

Reflections for the new year (a list)

20 Questions for a New Year’s Eve Reflection stolen from (in)courage

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

My honey and I went to HAWAII! It was like a second honeymoon… the perfect blend of relaxation and adventure, and we got it for a bargain, which just made my little penny-pinching heart so, so happy. I’m constantly amazed at how much fun it is to be married… how we make each other laugh in airport terminals and take care of each other in the most mundane and delightful ways.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

I never talk about this, and I hate talking about it, but I have to be honest… being a diabetic was harder this year than it’s ever been. I usually handle the daily challenges this creates with a mix of good cheer, a balanced outlook and a healthy dose of denial, and this year, those kinds of remedies were not enough. 2011 was the year of the heaving, sighing, saggy sobs and complete lack of any understanding or control in this area of my life, and I feel pretty beat up by the whole experience, to be honest.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Being in meetings with all kinds of people, from multi-ethnic hipters, trying to out-skinny-jean each other, to very Tidy and Professional Older Gentlemen, and finding that I can communicate effectively and deliver aggressively.  Also, the warmth and kindness of dear friends. Even after years of close friendship, it’s still unexpected, and it’s still a joy!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle

My inability to keep a really tidy house for longer than 24 hours at a time. It’s a trial, as you might imagine.

5. Pick three words to describe 2011.

Growth, Striving, Thoughtfulness

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

Success, Belief, Focus

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2011 (again, without asking).

Pushing, Running, Caring

8. What were the best books you read this year?

Atlas Shrugged, The Help, Pretty in Plaid, Demonic

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

I’m going to just answer this with girlfriends, because if I listed everybody, we’d be here all day and you’d be bored.  So:

Holli, with whom I’m constantly finding another (deeper and better) level of friendship, my small group gals and their sage advice (they talked me off of numerous cliffs), Hot D, my lunch buddy and #1 fan, Megan (who just had adorable baby #2! Holy cow.) Ami, my wrangler-buddy of olden times and dear friend with an amazing laugh, and of course my college roommates and our dear girl, AP – we send long emails waxing eloquent on each other’s hot bods and romantic/baby-related/work/life successes. It’s like the best kind of pep talk and gossip session combined, delivered to your inbox. Plus, Ashley, my sis-in-law. We together learned the value of so-late-it-barely-counts Black Friday shopping, and it was glorious. Also, Adam and I’ve recently convinced her to let her snarky, college-football-genius side run free on the Internet, and it’s amazing. You should read it here. Sam, the best-ever writing conference buddy and cheerleader I know, Kim, who is wise and funny and oh-so-thoughtful and Justis, with whom I have gotten severe giggles and shared my heart.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

This was a very business-focused year, so this is a boring answer. But learning how to manage success is almost as hard as balancing the weight of failure, and I am still finding that work/life balance.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I realized that I can’t control people. I write this while still reeling from the emotional betrayal of someone I considered a good friend, and I’m daily reminding myself that I am still responsible for my actions, no matter what the outside circumstances may be. That’s a hard thing to remember, especially when I just want to rattle someone’s brain pan and demand answers. But… (deep breath) I am not in control, and I have a responsibility to behave well, and not rattle them about because I’m hurt/mad/fill-in-the-blank.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

This year was a thoughtful year for my faith. I’m thinking a lot about emergent church thought vs. traditional Christian beliefs, about what role leaders have in the church, where I fit in, how faith impacts politics, decisions, etc. It’s hard for me to say where I’ve grown because the whole process is still in a state of flux, but I’m learning to think deeply and well about things that matter, so I guess that equals growth.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

I started swimming again, I started riding (horseback) English again. I then took a long hiatus to eat butter cookies, and I’m realizing that it’s probably time to start up the whole “exercise” thing again.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

It didn’t just happen this year, but I’m embracing my role as a hospitable person and a lover of people. I don’t have the cleanest house and I’m often frustrated by my own lack of polish, but I’m learning to let that go and welcome others into our life. I’m also learning when to protect myself against hurtful meanies… the underbelly of loving people is that you will get hurt, eventually.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Ahhhhhhh…. I loved my work this year. I loved going to offices and having people feel better after a consultation about my services. I loved writing some really well-thought-out copy. I loved leading meetings with teams of bloggers, teaching people how to use the web, harnessing stories that others don’t even know they are telling. At home, I loved cooking new recipes, trying new kitchen techniques and types of food, the simple satisfaction of an empty laundry basket and a clean desk.

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Balance. I like to work and I LOVE to multi-task, so overwhelming myself or over-commiting were my two biggest downfalls.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Political Tee-Vee/blogs. Especially in an election season… I could be happy as a clam just watching the talking heads and reading irate bloggers all day. Sometimes it’s good and healthy… other times I use it as an excuse to not do other things.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Writing. I didn’t do as much writing for myself as I wish I had. A learning for 2012! A close second to that would be networking. Sounds silly and old-fashioned, but I enjoy it and it has really expanded my business.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

Not to worry or dwell on bad stuff, but just move on. I’m only in control of a very miniscule piece of the universe… praise the Lord for that!

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you.

Write what you believe in, don’t let your heart overcome your head, and it’s never a bad idea to call a friend, go for a walk or kiss your husband.

4 comments found

  1. #14: “I don’t have the cleanest house and I’m often frustrated by my own lack of polish, but I’m learning to let that go and welcome others into our life.”

    Know what? There are people in this world that envy your ability to be all of the above… to just be… and still be. Whether your are sweaty, dirty or ready for a night out you are still Dani; sweet, charming & funny. I will never forget the morning of your wedding… when you said that you had decided not to wear very much makeup. SHUTup! And, you were a beatiful – glowing bride still; sweet, charming & funny… and perfectly yourself.

    I admired your spirit that day and I still do… even from afar. Shine on D.

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