Right Now
I’m forcing myself to talk about my right now, since lately it’s felt like a terrifying blend of too big, too scary, too much and too boring all at once. I’m sorry for the vaguery, but the Stuff that is all over my brain is not fit for public consumption. (You really are glad that I have some self-control and am not vomiting my Stuff all over the Internet. Trust me.)
Right now I’m defrosting chicken breasts and planning an evening hike with my hubby. I’m reeling from compliments at this morning’s writer’s group and praying for courage to pursue an unpopular road. I’m craving chocolate and drinking Diet Coke, hoping for sunshine and noting the misty gray skies still lingering, wishing that I had an answer to questions that are pounding at my door, seeping through the cracks in my walls, tugging on my shirt-tails and whispering in my ear.
I’m learning to be gracious and generous. I’m learning to listen to my husband and let him lead. I’m learning to say “thank you” when someone says nice things about me and my work, to brush it off when they don’t agree or get offended. I’m learning to not worry about tomorrow, to be grateful in the moment, to fix my eyes on the Author and Finisher.
Right now is a hard time. Right now is an in-between time. Right now is a beautiful time.
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